Well folks, the end of the 13th Mayan b’ak’tun is nearly upon us. Actually, for most of the world, it’s already here. So, in celebration of the fact that we’re still here — or possibly in preparation for our final collision with the dark planet Nibiru — here are some of the day’s best apocalyptic tweets.
Suing the Mayan calendar for falsely raising my hopes
— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) December 20, 2012
For the second time in 24 hours we’re actually forced to give Roseanne props. Best cynical tweet of the day.
When the Mayan calendar ends tonight and we are all still here tomorrow, make sure to call us to get that free home and auto quote! 🙂
— Colorado Insurance (@COLOinsurance) December 21, 2012
Do you insure against Nibiru damage? Zombies? We could definitely use zombie insurance. Does our current policy cover a magnetic pole shift or does that work like flood insurance?
Stfu”@schwagg_sauce: OH SHIT!! A METEOR JUST COLLIDED WITH A MAYAN TEMPLE! TURN TO CHANNEL 2 THE WORLD IS ENDING!!”
— Cali (@GregoryDButler) December 20, 2012
Pressure’s on for national grid. If the power cuts out randomly during the Mayan apocalypse, people will literally shit themselves.
— Andrew Cook (@AndrewCooker) December 21, 2012
Everybody chill. Got a new Mayan calendar at the mall. Good ’til 4772. Also, has cute kitten pic for each month!
— Mark Nelson (@jugglenutz) December 20, 2012
— † (@JuanitoBonitooo) December 21, 2012
On my roof waiting to go back to nibiru with the rest of the elites and their reptillian friends.
— Andrew (@vic_volatile) December 21, 2012
Here comes the Vogon Constructor Fleet now. Well, so long and thanks for all the fish. *grabs towel*
— Mr Farty (@MrFarty) December 20, 2012
When the aliens trigger the supervolcano with a massive solar flair, I’m going to sit on the patio to watch it in realtime.
— J. Chris Vaughan (@JChrisVaughan) December 21, 2012
Everyone needs to calm down about the apocalypse. The Jonas Brothers have been to the year 3000. We’re gonna be okay.
— Nathan Long (@nathanieljlong) December 21, 2012
Ok, just woke up and while I hate insomnia, we seem to be Apocalypse free. Hell, does this mean I should’ve gone Christmas shopping?
— Tracey Sinclair (@Thriftygal) December 21, 2012
What if the Mayan Calendar ends in 5105, and we’re just been holding it upside down? #MindBlown
— drunk (@drunk) December 20, 2012
— Erik Witman (@EWitman) December 21, 2012
Be sure to check back with Twitchy tomorrow for the very best in post-apocalyptic tweets.